Moving through the fear of change
fun, happiness, inspiration, love, mindset, self care, spirituality
6th Nov 2010
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Change is in the air. The weather is getting colder, we just had another election which changed the balance of power, and things seem to be moving along faster than they have in a while.
As I’ve spoken to quite a few of my friends over the past few weeks, they’ve noted that they’re having lots of change and transition, too.
For many, it’s making a career move in a direction that feels more heart centered than what they had been doing before. I’ve heard from so many people lately who are tired of just earning a paycheck and want to do something that they were meant to do in life. It’s refreshing to hear so many people following their passions.
For others, it’s a change in their family. Many of my friends are preparing to become a Mom for the first time. This exciting change brings lots of anticipation for what life might be like once the little one arrives – it’s exciting and scary.
And for others, it’s a change in health – finally being ready to learn how to release the weight without crazy diets, discover how to boost their energy and get their spark back, or figure out how to end nagging digestive issues for good.
The funny thing about change is that we all want to change something, and many of us hold ourselves back from actually making it. Most of the time it’s fear that holds us back.
Part of that fear is the uncertainty of what life will be like when you change.
There’s actual science behind why this is. Studies show that the brain views uncertainty the same way that it views physical pain – it registers as a threat. Your brain actually craves certainty, and uses similar circuits that register other rewards such as food and sex.
So how can you override your brain’s automatic way of thinking?
Get clear on your why
You know what you want to change, and you can reinforce the positive benefits of making the change by writing out a list of why you want it. Take 10 minutes to write out everything you will gain by changing.
For example, if you dropped 10 pounds, you could – wear that slinky dress hiding in the back of your closet, look better in your holiday photos, feel confident in your bathing suit on vacation, have more energy, look better naked, etc. Write non-stop and come up with as many reasons as you can – the more the better.
Calm yourself into change
A good reminder is to use the Louise Hay affirmation, “I am safe. It’s only change.”
If you think logically about change, it’s inevitable, and it’s always happening. But it only becomes a big deal when we think it’s a big deal. By continually reaffirming that you are safe and ok, and that change is good and something you actually want, you can help your brain get out of threat mode and get yourself into action.
Get Moving
If your thinking feels like it’s stagnant, one of the best things you can do is to get moving! When you change the way you’re moving, you change your physiology – your breathing changes, you activate different muscles, which activates different parts of your brain. All of this physical change can help you break through a negative thought pattern to open the door for new and more positive thoughts.
You can do something as simple as taking a walk or cleaning up your space. Or try something radically different than what you normally do. Recently, I climbed up a rock climbing wall and tried a hip hop dance class. The rock wall was much harder than I thought it would be, and I was really psyched when I reached the top. When I did the hip hop class I was nervous about looking foolish in from of others – until I realized that everyone else felt the same way. Once I dropped my thinking patterns and just did it, I had a ton of fun.
Do some inner work
Changing your thinking can take lots of practice. It’s easier when you have tools that can help you flip the switch whenever you need it – it can be an affirmation, a mantra, or something that reminds you of being happy and in the flow. Whatever you use, it should be something that you can use anytime to switch yourself instantly. The more you practice, the easier it will get and the better you’ll feel.
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What do you do to help yourself move through the fear of change?
One of the most helpful tools that I’ve used is the Essential Spark – an instant breakthrough tool that helps you move through fear to get you where you want to go faster and easier than ever before. You can learn more about it here.
Are you feeding your whole self?
food, happiness, inspiration, love, mindfulness, mindset, relationships, self care, spirituality
14th Sep 2010
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The old adage, “you are what you eat,” is absolutely true – whether you mean real food or your “soul’s food.”
It’s easy to tell when you’re eating well. Nourish yourself with a well-balanced plate, and you thrive with energy for doing what you love: like flowing through sun salutations in yoga class, bike riding with your family, and spending time with friends on the weekend.
Eat empty-calorie junk food and you’ll feel bloated, cranky, irritable unfocused. Empty calories can lead to insulin resistance, diabetes, and heart issues and you’ll need to shop for bigger clothes.
Your “soul’s food” is equally important. Your soul thrives when what you’re doing is aligned with who you truly are. And you know your soul is being well fed when you notice that you:
- Skip your way to work
- Gaze at your partner like you’re still dating
- Feel the weight of financial burden lift from your shoulders
- Are at peace and feel one with the world
If you sense that you’re missing any of these key ingredients in your life, your soul is hungry. If you’re not feeding your soul, you may be walking around with that “empty” feeling. Something is missing, and you can’t put your finger on it. You may be thinking, “Is that all there is?”
Here’s the thing – it’s not that you are intentionally preventing your soul from nourishment, and it’s completely not your fault for not feeding it. Your underlying beliefs may be undermining your best efforts. And that’s mostly about what’s in your head. Really.
The good news — you can easily start feeding your soul once you clear these limiting beliefs, even if you don’t know exactly what they are.
I’m really excited to be working with Whole Mind Mastery expert Kit Furey to offer you a completely fr*ee teleclass:
Soul Food: Clear the Blocks to Attracting Your Most Essential Desires!
Wednesday, September 15 9pm ET / 6 pm PT
www.WholeMindMastery.com/preview/soulfood
During the call, we will do a quick check-in to see if your soul is getting the food it needs in every area of your life.
We will also go through an exercise to show you how to shift the self-limiting beliefs that may be keeping y\\our soul from experiencing the fullness of your passions and purpose. You’ll also discover:
- Five secret signs that show self-sabotage may lurk in your life
- Why your beliefs about what you do and love are “make it or break it” factors that drive your life
- You’ll actually be guided through a gentle exercise to remove blocks and reclaim vitality and joy while you’re on the call
- And you’ll come away with a strategy to easily overcome blocks to getting the most from your soul food, even if you don’t know right now what’s holding you back.
There’s no cost for this training, but you must sign up to access it:
Soul Food: Clear the Blocks to Attracting Your Most Essential Desires!
Wednesday, September 15 9pm ET / 6 pm PT
www.WholeMindMastery.com/preview/soulfood
Diets don’t work but this does
happiness, inspiration, mindfulness, mindset, Uncategorized
13th Sep 2010
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How many times have you gone on a diet and failed? I know that I have more times than I can count. I hated the struggle when I dieted. The weighing and measuring of my food, perfectly portioned out. Ironically, once I stopped the strict dieting was when I was able to easily shed the weight. And that’s why I don’t do it anymore.
I’ve worked with many people who come to me all fired up to make changes. They’re very motivated and want to get started right away on releasing weight. We start working together and everything is going great. They’re making changes, the weight is starting to come off, and they’re feeling better than they have in a long time.
And then… all of the sudden something happens. A big event – wedding, vacation, long weekend away – derails their plan. They feel like they’ve messed everything up, all of the good work that they’ve done. But the thing is that it’s really easy to get back on track. A big part of sticking with a plan has to do with being clear on what you want, and keeping your goal top of mind. And that’s why I’m here.
But the other part is eliminating underlying beliefs that keep you from getting what you want, even if you stay focused on it. I find that this is the main reason why diets don’t work.
People diet to make a change, and their expectation is that they will stick with the plan to release the weight, and then they can go back to what they were doing. But this doesn’t make sense. If you go back to what you were doing, you’ll end up back where you were.
If you want to truly change, you have to be willing to do what it takes. It may seem uncomfortable at first because it is a new way of eating and thinking. But if you make easy lateral shifts in your habits, easing into eating more high-quality foods and healthier portions, the weight melts off without you even realizing it.
Still, some people struggle with this – and it permeates other areas of their life. Now they’re not just eating poorly, they’re also not doing the things that they love that will feed their souls.
If you’ve ever felt this way, take heart. There’s actually a simple solution. And I’ll be offering a free teleclass training, with Whole Mind Mastery expert Kit Furey, on Wednesday, September 15, to help you make this shift easily. And, the best part is that you can participate from anywhere – Sign up and get access to the call-in details:
Soul Food: Clear the Blocks to Attracting Your Most Essential Desires!
Wednesday, September 15 9pm ET / 6 pm PT
Starting your day right
happiness, inspiration, mindfulness, mindset, self care, spirituality
2nd Sep 2010
2 Comments »
A beautiful sun rises over the running track early in the morning. I took this photo in early summer. Now that we’re turning toward autumn, the sun is rising around the same time as when I snapped this.
I like running in the morning, but I know many people who can’t fathom working out so early. But just because you’re not a “morning” person doesn’t mean that you can’t have a great morning.
But it’s up to us to decide that we will focus on the present moment, and enjoy where we are – right here, right now. Because this is the only thing that is.
It’s easy to drift from one thought to another, constantly worrying about the future or dwelling in the past. But we can only live right now. Imagine what your life would be like if you could stay focused on being present. How would it change the way you think about your everyday activities? How would your appreciation for what is change? How could you enjoy each day more?
Try this:
The Mindfulness Yoga blog recommends starting each day by reciting a gatha – short verse that serve as reminders to stay present. The morning gatha is this:
If you try this, I recommend doing it for at least a week – if not the whole month. Notice how your thoughts start to shift as you take on this practice. And let me know how it goes for you.
Get healthy now – don't wait until Monday
inspiration, mindset
15th Aug 2010
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What could you do for your health right now that you know you should do? If you’re not doing it, why aren’t you? It’s easy to make excuses or come up with reasons why we can’t make simple changes – even when we truly want to change.
Here’s a simple, but powerful, exercise you can do to get going on achieving all of your health goals:
- Write down specifically what you want to accomplish. For example, you want to lose 15 pounds and have a flat stomach.
- What would you gain by taking action and just doing it? Write down all of your reasons – don’t think too hard, just write down everything you’ll get – like fitting better in your clothes, having more energy, turning more heads, getting more confidence, reducing the chance that you’ll get chronic diseases such as high blood pressure, reducing the number of medications that you’re currently taking, etc.
- What do you stand to lose by not taking action? Write down everything you can think of – feeling unhappy about the way you look, having to buy bigger clothes, feeling tired all of the time, lacking self confidence, having less energy to do activities you love, having to spend more on medications, having to spend more time at doctor’s offices, etc.
- Looking at all of the things you stand to gain, and everything you are risking by not taking action, decide to take action to get started on your weight loss plan.
- Take one action – what can you do right away that will help you achieve your goal? Let me know in the comments, here
Hello, beautiful
happiness, inspiration, mindfulness, mindset
11th Jun 2010
1 Comment »
I love your outfit.
Nice haircut.
Wow, you look fantastic.
I used to cringe when I heard anything remotely complimentary directed at me. That is, if I could even see it was for me – usually I was looking around to see who they were really talking to.
How many of you just blushed when you read those? C’mon now – I know a few of you were probably looking over your shoulder or thinking, “Who, me?”
If you’ve ever felt the same way, it’s time to change that thinking.
We all have beliefs about ourselves that get developed over the years, and they come from many different people and sources. We might develop our beliefs from what parents or teachers tell us, from our peers, from our colleagues, from friends or even from media. Who knows what influenced us originally? It doesn’t really matter.
What really matters – just because we believe something is true doesn’t make it so.
Your beliefs become the advertising in your mind that influences your decisions. Allowing negative beliefs to influence your behavior can be very destructive. Can you imagine how negative thinking might sabotage your efforts to lose weight or take better care of yourself? Isn’t it time to start changing this automatic programming and “advertise” to yourself what you really want?
So, how do you start accepting compliments as the truth? Simply start saying, “Thank you.”
It may feel uncomfortable at first. But it will make the other person feel good because you’re accepting their gift. And it will make you feel good because you reinforce within your mind that you really are beautiful.
Another way to change your thinking – use positive affirmations. Write up a list of positive affirmations about yourself and read them on a daily basis. Post them where you can see them every day and read them.
Read and repeat them – even if they don’t feel true to you. The more you repeat them, the more you will believe them, and the more they will become true for you.
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Like what I have to say? Wondering how you can start living a Delicious Life? Find out how I can help through a get acquainted phone session with me.
Losing It with Jillian
exercise, inspiration, mindset
9th Jun 2010
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I watched Losing It with Jillian last night. She’s one tough trainer, but some people need that kind of coaching. What I like about her style is how she’s able to quickly break through people’s barriers by pushing the right buttons to get them to talk. Because half of what keeps people who are really stuck and unable to get motivated when they’re overweight has to do with burying feelings.
It seems like it’s so much easier to eat over your emotions instead of dealing with them. Until it’s not. And all of the people featured on the show have already hit their own personal “bottom” in order to reach out and call for help. And yet, even when they have Jillian up in their faces, they are overcome with fear and want to run away.
I’m not a huge fan of reality-style shows, but I’m glad that more of these nutrition and weight loss shows are on. I find it really inspiring to see people who are finally proving to themselves that they can overcome their perceived limits, breaking down false barriers that were holding them back from really living.
Out with the old
cleanse, diet, environment, inspiration, mindset, self care
6th May 2010
1 Comment »
Recently I realized that my desk files needed a good purging, so I got a cross-cut shredder to get rid of those papers that I didn’t want and couldn’t just throw out. I spent a couple of hours happily shredding documents and recycling the bits that were taking up so much precious space in our New York apartment.
Once I was done, my office felt like a new space. I had breathing room again. That pile of papers that had been sitting there for so long was finally gone. I could put away all of those new papers that had collected on top of my file cabinet (do they multiply while I’m not there?)
It’s easy to get stuck in a rut. The familiar is comfortable. Eat at the same 2 places outside your office for lunch. Work out the same exact way, 5 times per week. Sleep late on Saturday mornings.
So much of what we carry around with us is habit – stuff that worked for a while, but doesn’t really work anymore. When we get rid of things in our lives that no longer serve us, we open ourselves up for new possibilities.
Some call it spring cleaning – I like to think of it as a recharging of your own energy.
You could clean out your files (like I did), get rid of old clothes that you no longer love, get rid of the junk food in your kitchen cabinets, or quit smoking or drinking diet soda on a daily basis.
Imagine the possibilities of having space in your desk drawers, uncluttered closets that hold only your favorite clothes, a pantry that stocks only the healthiest foods. How could that change your life right now?
What could you imagine giving up now that you used to think you always needed?
What would be helpful to get rid of in order to let new and good things into your life?
Writing your future – birthdays and other milestones
inspiration, mindset
11th Jan 2010
2 Comments »
Today is my birthday. It’s not a milestone birthday for me this year, but it feels like one anyway.
I think it’s the changing over to a new decade. Those always seemed like big milestones to me when I was a kid.
Growing up, THE FUTURE was a big, shiny distant thing, filled with robots and flying cars and a Jetsons-esque lifestyle – the future was the year 2000. When I got there, it wasn’t as big, shiny and looming as I thought it would be.
In the year 2000, I lived in a walk-up apartment in Brooklyn without a car or a robot maid. I worked on the World Wide Web, a relatively shiny, new thing that allowed people to communicate with each other over long distances, but it wasn’t even the one that we have now. It was slow and light on graphics and photos, and people still used their phones to dial into it. There was no Facebook or Twitter. Napster was alive and well, allowing users to steal music.
Before the year 2000, I used to journal about what my life might be like when I reached that magical year. Most of my writing was uncertainty and speculation – as if I was afraid to commit real plans to paper. Perhaps I intuitively knew how powerful writing down your dreams could be. “Be careful what you wish for – it could come true.”
Writing down your future can make it happen much faster than you ever anticipated. It can be scary to write down your dreams in minute detail, only to have them show up on your doorstep within weeks of writing them down. It makes you wonder, “Why didn’t I wish for this sooner?”
Digging through old journals this week, I found one from 2002, the year I met my husband. After 9/11, I did a lot of soul searching and took a self-development course that had me examining my current path and dreams. One of the exercises revealed that I wanted to work with food, explore other ways I could make money by writing, and travel around the world. Shortly after I did this exercise, my dreams started coming true.
I fulfilled my travel dream and left New York for three months. I the most wonderful experience meeting people while traveling on my own through New Zealand, Australia and South East Asia. I made new friends, saw new places and had exciting adventures – surfing, bungee jumping, rappelling, and spending lots of time outdoors.
When I came back from my travels, I transitioned from working as a web project manager to a position where I was creating and writing marketing materials. I learned how to write to sell the value of a company’s offerings. I learned about this other side of business that I didn’t know before. And I was fulfilled by the creativity of it – something that I never would get in my former life in journalism.
And then there was the food thing. A strange dream of mine, because I never considered working with food. The last time I had food experience was working at the food court in a mall. Definitely not the kind of experience I ever wanted to have again. And yet, I still had this dream.
That’s when I found health coaching. Or it found me. I got healthy with the help of a gifted healer and yogi, and that’s when I got interested in this health thing. Food as medicine was a novel concept for me. When I saw how well it worked, I wanted to share it with everyone I knew.
Now, here I am – 10 years later. I’ve decided to start journaling my dreams again. There’s something to it. The more specific you get, the faster you can achieve your dreams.
So why wouldn’t you write down your dreams in detail? Are you afraid they might come true? I dare you to try it and see how quickly you attract the things that make your heart sing.
Feel good now
happiness, inspiration, mindset
14th Dec 2009
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Nothing is more important than that I feel good.
Don’t do anything that you don’t really want to do. Keep yourself in a place of feeling good. Reach for the thought that feels better – and watch what happens.
- Abraham Hicks
Feeling good is the main part of the Law of Attraction. If you’re in a state of good feeling, you’ll naturally attract more of what you want into your life. That is why they say that nothing is more important than feeling good.
What can you do today for yourself that will put you in that feeling good state?
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