9th Dec 2009 No Comments »
We live in an increasingly solitary world. We may be connected through facebook, twitter, linked in, e-mail, texting, and any number of digital social ways. But there’s an increasing sense of lonliness among people.
As humans, we’re social animals. We like being around other people. We like talking to each other and interacting one on one. (Well, most of us do.)
What to do? Keep in touch with people. Instead of liking something someone says on facebook, why not connect with them in person?
Pick up the phone and make a date to meet up. Write an old-fashioned snail mail note by hand with a pen. Sure, sounds antiquated – but do you know how much people appreciate it when you keep in touch with them in a personal way? It makes them feel special – which will make you feel special, too.
Keep in touch with me – leave me a message here. I will definitely respond.
27th Dec 2008 No Comments »
Want to get ready for the new year by bringing fresh energy into your life? Start by cleaning up a portion of your home.
Feng Shui is the art of creating harmonious flow in the house – making sure that the energy within is good and that no area gets stagnant. Each area of the home represents a different aspect of your life – career, family, children, love, money, etc. So if one area gets stagnant with clutter, it’s likely that area of your life is also stagnant.
Your cleanup doesn’t have to be a big project – you can do something as simple as cleaning off a bookshelf or organizing your desk. You might choose a corner of a room or your closet. Whatever it is, getting rid of clutter will help you reactivate that space and give it new life.
If you want to work on a particular aspect of your life, you could work with a Feng Shui consultant or get a simple Feng Shui book – I have not read this one yet but it looks good.
25th Mar 2008 No Comments »
Diet is such a personal thing. Many people define themselves by what they eat. A steak and potatoes kind of guy. A crunchy granola girl. Try to change them, taking away the foods they know and love, and they become massively defensive. Because you’re not just taking away their food, you’re also taking away part of the essence of their being.
Add love into the mix, and things can get tricky. Can a vegan ever love a carnivore or vice versa?
“Sharing meals has always been an important courtship ritual and a metaphor for love. But in an age when many people define themselves by what they will eat and what they won’t, dietary differences can put a strain on a romantic relationship. The culinary camps have become so balkanized that some factions consider interdietary dating taboo.”
I remember when I started living my delicious life. I was in transition – just started dating this guy who was really into health food, and I was starting a strict regime of Ayurvedic cleansing and rebuilding. I said to him, “I don’t want to become a vegetarian!” As if that was such a bad thing.
I did go vegetarian for a while – and it felt great for that time. Then I learned so much about eating and diet – and that, for me, vegetarianism might not be the best thing, but not for the reasons that had detracted me from it when I was starting my adventure.
Changing your diet when you’re in a relationship can be difficult. You and your partner start out eating a certain way together as a couple, and life is good. And then you decide that maybe you want to eat better, get healthier, lose weight, or whatever. You’re making a change.
If your partner is supportive, great. It will still take some lifestyle adjusting, but it’s not such a big deal. You learn and figure it out. If your partner doesn’t like this new change, however, watch out. They might try to subconsciously (or worse, deliberately) sabotage you. You’ll keep trying to change but feel torn. What’s more important? The relationship or the diet?
Food has a strong subconscious link to love, said Kathryn Zerbe, a psychiatrist who specializes in eating disorders at Oregon Health and Science University in Portland. That is why refusing a partner’s food “can feel like rejection,” she said.
As with other differences couples face, tolerance and compromise are essential at the dinner table, marital therapists said. “If you can’t allow your partner to have latitude in what he or she eats, then maybe your problem isn’t about food,” said Susan Jaffe, a psychiatrist in Manhattan.
Quotes from I Love You, But You Love Meat found in the New York Times.
29th Dec 2007 No Comments »
Got something on your mind that’s eating at you? Get it out of your system by writing it out. Take a pen and some paper and find a quiet space to write. Keep your hand moving for at least 15 minutes. Let whatever comes to you flow out on the paper – don’t worry about spelling, grammar, or other mistakes. They don’t matter. All that matters is that you get the raw emotion out on paper without thinking about it.
As you go through this exercise, you might find yourself softening and your emotional state calming down. This is good – writing can help you release the negative energy that you hold inside. Once you’re done, you can do whatever you want with the results – throw them away, shred them, or burn the paper and release the energy into the ether.
6th Dec 2007 2 Comments »
Dear readers, since so many of you seem to come here to my blog because of a PostSecret post that I wrote all the way back in June, I thought I would post one more about this card that I saw this week:
Family estrangement is complicated. Most of the stories that I’ve heard about it, estrangement frequently starts with an argument over money. Sometimes it’s a disagreement of beliefs between old and new (i.e., relations-in-law) family members. Most of the time, the catalyst seems like a petty matter but is really a symptom of a larger conflict or a personal internal conflict.
A few years ago, I could not comprehend it. What’s the point? What could make someone so angry that they would never want to speak to a family member again? But the more I talk to people who have estrangement stories, the more I can understand why sometimes some people do feel better being estranged than in touch.
The problem is that life is short. So many people who become estranged from parents, grandparents, children, etc. are happy to be estranged – until that person dies. The conflict, which was once so powerful, had lost its power and feelings towards the person may have softened. But because of so many years gone by, and too many fears coming up about being the first one to approach the other to make amends, it is not resolved. The person remaining regrets not being able to say goodbye, I’m sorry, I love you, in person.
Right does not equal happy. You can choose right or happy, but not both. Right does not get you back to love. So, what do you choose?